Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock. There are skid marks in front of the dog. Why did the woman cross the road? How are women and linoleum floors alike? Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? They can smell it but they can't eat it. Do you really want music in the shower? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease. Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? The tongue's still in the envelope. A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper! He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one. No-one to talk to during an orgasm! I could clearly tell that there were more sexist jokes about men than women, so I went through and tallied up each joke.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Tommy Cooper I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. I realised that the other day inside my fort. Q: How do you make a lesbian anorexic eat? The last time they threw one in the cooking pot, he ate all the potatoes. I love the Internet, work in user experience, and can often be found online posting under the nick pseudonym. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time. I went to the middle of the street, climbed a radio mast and carefully tied one end of the rope about my neck and the other to a point on the mast then I ……………………. A: A submarine Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? You know that white thing on his head? Two Calves, an ass, a pussy, and god knows how many hairs.
Warning: some of them are quite crude. A: After five years your job still sucks. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. They're wet and wild when they come and take your house when they leave What's the difference between John Denver and the stock market? An owl is essentially a one-piece unit. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Pull the pin and throw it back. Have you got a massive issue with women or something? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. How many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs? They both irritate the shit out of you! This is supposed to be 2015, please drag this humour out of the seventies and place it in the nearest waste receptacle.
A: 68, at 69 you have to turn around. They were both designed for babies, but are played with by men. One was a salted What has orange hair, big feet, and comes out of a test tube? Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. A twenty-foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone. The first thing she did was drop Baby Spice Did you hear that Louise Woodward found religion in jail? And being serious jokes apart.
It was as though I was caught up to heaven in a vision. Doug How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Where are all these extra single socks coming from? What do you call a man with a car on his head? What do you call a handcuffed man? Real feminist support equality regardless of gender. What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?. Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. They both had a hit with the wall Why did Elton John sing at Diana's funeral? She makes him a sandwich and sends him to work. The mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving? What do rednecks do for Halloween? Because it does not have to stop to change color.
What do you call a woman playing pool whilst balancing two pints of lager on her head? Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? I can write jokes — I just choose not to. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend What does the incestuous hillbilly family do on Halloween? Well, maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night. My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. What is the similarity between a woman and laxative? After five years your job will still suck.
Why do chickens raise one leg when they sleep? Q: What do the Mafia and a vagina have in common? Stephen Grant I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The blonde has the higher sperm count. Her first wish was to be powerful, intelligent, and loved by all. What do you call a truck full of dildos? They go home and lick each others wounds! They can't stand criticism Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Papa Boner Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? Lesbian is a woman who likes other woman. One Liners Jokes Most of the time the jokes we get to hear are, in the forms of the dialogues.
She wanted to preserve her palm. Cos he chucks all his fags in the pool. Fuck these ignorant male pigs! What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? The guy who invented the other three? Jogging home from your own vasectomy. A: A guy will actually take time to search for a golf ball. What is the definition of Confidence? Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk.