In fact, despite wielding a guitar, the guy in the picture looks like he is confused by the joke as well. How do we find an egg in all of this shit? A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. A: Because his pecker is on his head! Q: What's even better than winning the Special Olympics A: Not being a retard. We have picked the best adult jokes for you and hope you will enjoy the reading! A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it. Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? He wants to ask the clerk a question.
~~~~~ Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis ~~~~~ Q: When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? We have some cool puns to add to your archive of humor! Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. Why did the semen cross the road? Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn't block access to porn sites on the internet. Q: Name the five great kings that have brought happiness in to peoples lives A: Drinking Licking sucking fucking and wanking. Q: What would happen if you cut off your left side? Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman? A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them 68. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
Q: What do a guy and a car have in common? Q: How many Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? Q: What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? ~~~~~ Q: What does a lamb shagger say? Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. A: They both have the ability to misfire. Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. Try to tell them in a dialog with your girlfriend or boyfriend — the person you are sleeping with will certainly laugh at them. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death.
A: Because they have cotton balls. Q: Whats thirty feet long and smells like urine? Take your time, as some anecdotes are presented in form of full stories, but we hope you will familiarize yourself with all of them, as we tried to do our best to collect these funny things. Q: Why do they call it the wonder bra? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Dirty Jokes I love a good dirty joke. .
The girl was playing with Barbies. ~~~~~ Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions. Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? The milkman spots a blanket in the corner with holes all cut out. The Adult jokes are mischievous and naughty at the same time. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Weeks later the old lady returned. She answers, 'Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie? A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. ~~~~~ Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? They are less popular than the one-liners, although they are still perfect to be told in the group of your adult friends.
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? Q: What did the penis say to the condom? Q: What do you call a retard in a tree with a brief case? The bear was taking a shit in the woods when he asked the rabbit if he had problems with shit sticking to its fur. How is being in the military like getting a blowjob? Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: They both suck for four quarters. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ~~~~~ Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Q: Whats the hardest part of rollerblading? Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas? Why did the snowman suddenly smile? A: They both have special needs Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus. Waiter if I get my hands on you! The wife was carrying tons of boxes. A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
If you're not prepared to shoe the horse then you sure as hell ain't riding it'. They interpret everything it in their ways, but sometimes they even outdo the adults in humorous sayings. What do you get when you do that? Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made. Q: What do bread and autistic kids have in common? Then all the women went along and tried to guess whose was whose. A:Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is? When is it okay to beat up a dwarf? Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help? They are sometimes dirty and so funny that you would prefer to die from laughing.
The second guest, who is from France, tees off and hits a fantastic shot that lands on the green thirty feet from the hole. The third guest, who is from Japan, tees off and amazingly the ball goes straight in the hole, a hole in one! A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness? ~~~~~ Q: What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Well, honestly, we understand that it is too interesting for you, our dear readers, to leave this page just because of your age. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Q: How do you get retards out of a tree? Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? It would be nice if you came second for a change. Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky? His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. A: A cheater, cheater, woman beater.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball! A guy will search for a golf ball. A: Erotic is using a feather…. Her husband was a blonde, too. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue. One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex.