But before you can allow yourself to make peace with what happened, you must become clear on the answer to one important question. I thought it was harmless, so I told my boyfriend a few months later. I found that veryboffensive and said goodbye. I know I was nowhere close to perfect, but I tried to do my best. This will be different for everyone.
Shes spiritual and has hope but has her days. But she never experienced that all-consuming romance she secretly lusted for. We each pushed the other just far enough to make room for someone to come between us. Forgiving yourself is difficult but the pain eases over time, and you know better how to be merciful to yourself. Hope for Forgiveness and Reconciliation…impossible now.
Absolutely, especially when you tell your partner. If you knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that you had corrected the thinking that led to the mistakes, then what do you have to feel guilty about? I think that the fact that you're still young and unmarried and understand how horrible the consequences of your actions are is a good thing. Little did I know the heartache that would come from it. We can only really help and love others after we have helped and loved ourselves. Again, I don't know your situation, but feeling this hatred for yourself over a coice your H made is completely natural but something I hope that you let go of soon. So, yes, I have not forgiven myself and have let it define me.
It does seem to me you are now aware of the importance it is for people to not cheat and I would back you every time that you wouldn't repeat this. What are your values and why are you punishing yourself? Everyone is human, and each of us are limited by our own experiences and opinions. I love my husband and can do anything for his happiness. You must also take them in the right order. Consider the following reasons that I have provided in the first paragraph. Now that you know a little more about lust, I have a question to ask you: do you think you were operating under the influence of a natural desire or lust when you decided to go ahead with the affair? My girlfriend doesn't feel that way, and I don't know if she ever will.
What could have allowed you to do that? In the long run, he caused a wound that was much larger and more difficult to heal. She called the cops on herself and lost all three children due to the one incident. Take responsibility for your choice of how you are feeling, and then act like a hero and not a victim. I thank you for being willing to learn the lessons they teach. I dont know what to do, I feel like I need to cut ties because im not good for her. I never ever obeyed my parents and elders. I hate Him so much,,, things that comes in my mind is always about anger and revenge… I really feel deep furstation.
Felt very insecure, guilty, ashamed ; scared; was a very shy child anyway. He was the love of my life and my best friend and I drove him away. Highlight things he's done for you, his accomplishments, boost how he feels about himself. Notice that you hurt yourself when you violate your values. The process is the same whether it was a one time encounter or an ongoing affair.
With this weight weighing down on me for the last 5 months, I certainly have changed my perspective on the world, and I feel I see it from a more mature viewpoint. According to me the way to be able to forgive yourself is to face it. Forgiving yourself for cheating includes patience and acceptance. The gift of giving him the chance to forgive you. I suggest you discard any ideas or notions from your mind that your mistakes call for punishment.
Can I feel good about myself again? You felt like you were suffering alone when he should have offered at least one of his shoulders for you to cry on. Others will be serious, like neglecting a child, letting go of a wonderful opportunity, and cheating on your spouse. Realize that you can forgive yourself and still believe you were at fault, just as you might forgive someone else even though you think the person was in the wrong. Is there something your spouse has said or done for you, at a particular time or ongoing, that has helped you to forgive yourself? My biggest problem with moving past the fact that I cheated, is that I can't seem to accept and forgive myself for what happened. I did something bad a few years ago and just came to the realization how bad it was. One of the best ways to combat this turbulence of emotion is to establish a vision for your future marriage.