Q: What do you call a retard in a tree with a brief case? A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Q: What is the square root of 69? The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus. Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? Husband 6 was from finance and administration.
Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower? A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Q: What do bread and autistic kids have in common? Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Mever bin laid on Q: Why is santa so jolly? Q: What's even better than winning the Special Olympics A: Not being a retard. Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? Q: Why do men like big tits and a tight ass? A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth.
The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. A: So they don't poke her eye out. Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? Q: What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Ate something Q: But do you know what 6. Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. Three feet of my cock up your ass. Q: Whats thirty feet long and smells like urine? Husband 2 was in software services.
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up. A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. The bear was taking a shit in the woods when he asked the rabbit if he had problems with shit sticking to its fur. Look at him, he's afraid to cough! In fact, if you take a closer look you will notice that this is a perfect penis. But now that I've married you, I'm really excited! A: The grass tickles their balls Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? Q: Why do black people not like to go on cruises? One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning differently.
Husband 8 was a psychologist. Husband 9 was a gynecologist. A: He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens! Q; What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. Q: Whats the hardest part of rollerblading? What kind of self-respecting woman is climbing into bed with a man who has his own pile of used condoms in the cupboard and can tell you exactly how many he has? Re-watch your favourite shows now, and the amount of adult humour that went whooshing over your head will knock your socks off. A: The more you play with it the harder it gets. A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness? Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Q: Why Are crippled people always picked on? Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. Q: What's sicker than a pile of dead babies? Q: Why don't blind people skydive? I thought we were about to overstep a mark there. Q: Why did God give men penises? The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. If it is, then make sure you check with our after you have finished here. Remember when Saturday mornings were the best part of the week? Q: What kind of bees produce milk? Q: What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit? Q: What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? A: They don't have balls to scratch.
Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman? Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans. A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Line dancing at a nusing home. A: Dress her up as an alter boy. A:Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? A: They don't know where home is Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Putting her back in the wheelchair when your done. Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month.
A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? A: It depends on how hard you throw them. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? We have all kinds of joke pages and pictures here on The Best Jokes. . You can't treat a cough with laxatives! No doubt these gags highly amused - albeit shocked - our parents, who had to deal with Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon every day of our youthful lives. A: A nun with a spear through her head. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. This time I know I'm going to get really screwed! Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: porn Q: How do you eat a squirrel? It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn't block access to porn sites on the internet.