Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. After finding a good spot, they started having sex. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He opens it and sees the same snail.
Why are his legs sticking in the air? Advertisement Ooo Heaven is a place on earth Sid and Irv are business partners. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen! How do you make a tissue dance? Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. I told him it was in the bathroom.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! I will now be a funny old man someday. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. So both are given one final assignment. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
I'll tell you what, never again. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table.
Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. Another good thing screwed up by a period. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing. Please form a single-file line. I got another letter from this lawyer today. He reduces height and spots a man down below.
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. Some of the jokes are long, some are short, and two feature bears for some reason, but are they really the funniest jokes in the world? My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After that she goes into the living room and sees her husband laying on the sofa. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. She got locked in the grocery store and starved to death. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? The second guy wishes the same. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? His winning one-liner was: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. This guy is probably very dangerous.
Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. What did the penis say to the vagina? An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster 37.
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone! Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! Here are 50 of our favorite Yo Mama jokes. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.